Oh, Lord, it’s so often the little things that trip me up.
During the past month, I’ve been doing a Virtual Camino—a wonderful program that InterVarsity has set up for faculty and staff at universities during this strange and difficult summer of 2020. When I heard that this virtual experience was also open to others, I signed up since my new novel, The Promised Land, is all about pilgrimage on the Camino.
Each week, I take a walk in the hilly countryside around our village, accompanied by a wonderful audio guide that leads me through different spiritual disciplines, scripture readings, and commentary.
I’ve loved these weekly walks. The first walk’s theme was Simplicity, the second, Presence, the third, Hospitality and Gratitude.
So it was with joy and anticipation that I headed out for my fourth Camino Walk, with the theme of Perseverance.
Five minutes into the audio guide I was obediently sitting on a bench, as instructed, and using all my senses to pay attention to my surroundings. But this lovely spiritual exercise was ruined by the annoyance of my audio guide suddenly not working. I couldn’t get it to start again at the right place and my phone kept randomly starting Spotify instead and playing a song and then my ‘Siri’ thing kept coming on for no reason at all.
It was super frustrating.
And it just kept getting worse, the audio guide starting and randomly stopping even as little blips about ‘perseverance’ came across my ears!
Oh, Lord, it was strange and strangely ironic. As I was doing this Camino walk, which was supposed to be a longer walk to stretch me, what stretched me was my response to the little annoyances of life.
And that mean old voice from my childhood that the enemy still shouts at me in times of weakness kept reverberating in my ears, saying, “Stupid girl! No common sense! You can’t even figure out how to use your phone!”
It had been a hard week with bad news of Covid deaths and other elderly people struggling, especial our dear Mamaw, Paul’s mom, suffering from a fall and then congestive heart failure. The news kept getting worse.
And many of our workers were struggling.
And also I was waiting, waiting, waiting to hear about an important decision for my writing career.
Then I headed out on the walk and my phone kept screwing up, and what was supposed to be a deeply spiritual experience where I heard Your voice, Lord, became extremely upsetting where all I could hear was that voice repeating again and again, “Stupid, stupid girl! No common sense!”
Finally I just stopped trying to fix the **** phone and burst into tears. (This is always a good choice!)
I’d walked up past the statue of Mary with its breath-taking views and continued to the end of the road. It was a beautiful blue-sky day with fields of wheat and sorghum all around me, and I was alone with You, Lord. Crying.
Then as I turned the corner and headed downhill, I literally heard You say in my spirit, “Lizzie, you persevere well in the big things, but the little things trip you up. But it’s not because of you being stupid or lacking. It’s just life. Remember, dear one, to let Me into every little frustrating space.”
I’d had the same thought, earlier in the walk as I thought about perseverance. I can often handle the big things in life—death of a loved one, tragic loss, chronic pain, bad news about my career, others’ tragedies—because I go in deep with You, Lord. I run quickly to You because I know You’re faithful and that You have faithfully carried me through so many difficulties. I hide in the shadow of Your wings during life’s hardest moments.
But it’s the little things in life that overwhelm me and catch me off guard so that I’m not paying attention. And my amygdala kicks in, and I respond unkindly to myself.
And it’s all about persevering in the little things, too, isn’t it, dear Lord? That’s where we’re made holy, day in and day out. The little disappointments, the little interruptions to our schedules.
Covid has interrupted everyone’s schedule, and how we need our focus to keep steady on You. Because actually it’s interrupted everyone’s schedule except Yours, Lord. You aren’t shocked or surprised, and You will redeem it.
I love these lyrics from Selah’s song Unredeemed:
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed
That is the story of my life and all of our lives in Christ. Yes, we’ve been shattered by disease and death and loss and grief and by daily struggles and annoyances that chip away at our faith, but You will redeem it.
My Camino walk ended with the audio suddenly working again as I picked wild blackberries from a bush on my way home, praising You, Lord, because You are the One who gives us the strength, grace, forgiveness, and love we need to persevere.
Where do you need to persevere today?
ELIZABETH MUSSER writes ‘entertainment with a soul’ from her writing chalet—tool shed—outside Lyon, France. Find more about Elizabeth’s novels at www.elizabethmusser.com and on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and her blog.
Elizabeth Musser 
I love that you take time to share your letters to the Lord. It reveals that you are faithful to God in all that you do! He is your rock, your strength, and your guide. Your discipline allows you to accomplish many things that minister to the soul of others. Your books are uplifting and encouraging to many people. There is a lot going on right now, but you are seeking Him and so you are right where he wants you to be. All that He so sweetly whispers to you is a blessing to you and us.
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