1. One of Abbie’s main issues is her need to control. What memories of the past help Abbie along her journey toward ‘letting go’? Have you had life circumstances that caused fear and a need to control? If so, how have you handled these?

2. I was writing these discussion questions during the Coronavirus pandemic. Discuss how the loss of control and the act of being confined for weeks on end affected you.

3. Abbie says, “How perfectly ironic, that what drove Bill away was me trying so hard to make sure he never ever left.” Have you ever driven people you love the most away by trying to hold them too tightly? Discuss.

4. Have you heard of spiritual direction? What is your response to spiritual disciplines that seem unorthodox? Have you ever tried Lectio Divina or breath prayers?

5. Diana, the spiritual director, tells Abbie that “So much has a chance to get through to us when everything else is taken away.” Agree or disagree? Discuss.

6. Which of the characters in the story can you most relate to and why? Whose faith journey can you most relate to and why?

• Abbie
• Bill
• Bobby
• Caroline
• Rasa
• Swannee (Mary Swan)
• Bastien
• Stephen
• Tracie

7. Have you ever had someone like Miss Abigail, who became a mentor to you? Describe the relationship and the benefits of having a mentor. Do you have or have you ever had an accountability partner? If so, what was the experience like? How is this different from having a mentor? Discuss different ways that people overcome addictions.

8. Have you ever experienced something traumatic, as Caro, Rasa, and Bobby have, that destabilized you for years to come? Have you found help and healing? If so, how? Discuss vicarious trauma.

9. Caro says, “I’d heard it said that the Camino strips you bare, forces you to look at the junk inside, and then gives you a new start.” Have you had any sort of experience that stripped you bare? Did it ultimately end up being positive or negative?

10. Rasa says, “It is the first thing I see. The soul. Not the face or the color of the skin. Not the sound of the voice. First, it is the soul. I see it through the eyes sometimes. And I always, always want to see Isa in the face.” Have you ever met someone like Rasa? Does the way she lives out her faith attract or repel you?

11. Discuss Bobby’s passion to become a painter. Was Abbie wrong to want him to do the next logical thing? Discuss ways in which your passions/dreams as a young person were encouraged or discouraged and the effect that had on you.

12. Bobby says, “The idea of letting go of responsibility that isn’t really mine came from the therapist I saw after Anna. But I’ve never done a very good job of putting it into practice.” How do you distinguish between responsibility that is or is not yours to take? Do you have a hard time letting go of responsibility?

13. Bastien lies to Caro ultimately to protect her and others. Stephen withholds information from his sister for the same reason. Is lying ever acceptable? Why or why not? Give specific examples to support your position.

14. Discuss the metaphor of Abbie’s perfect cross-stitch contrasted with the metaphor of the underside of a tapestry being a tangled mess. What does the way Abbie stitches the lighthouse emblem at the end of the novel represent? Have you ever felt like you ‘lost yourself’? If so, how did you get yourself back?

15. Abbie says “It’s not like it’s a new idea, what confession does for the soul, but I haven’t been practicing it in a long time. Not true spit-out-the-worst-of-me confession. And I haven’t really given anything over to the Lord in a long time either.” Do you regularly practice confession in some form? What do you think of the idea of giving things over to the Lord?

16. One of the main themes of the novel is pilgrimage. Had you heard of the Camino before reading The Promised Land? Does the idea of pilgrimage attract or repel you? Why? Have you ever done some sort of pilgrimage? Discuss.

17. Characters from The Swan House, The Dwelling Place, and The Long Highway Home reappear in this story. Do you like or dislike when an author brings in characters you have gotten to know in one of her previous works?